One more month down.........one more special event, atleast for the kids, Halloween........On to November..........If I could get myself to get some school stuff done I could actually enjoy getting ready for Thanksgiving.......I have decided it is my favorite holiday........all about giving thanks, spending time with family, and of the materialism involved................I think I will have to try some new fun recipes. My husband loves Thanksgiving as well. I have decided I will make him a whole Thanksgiving dinner when he comes home for R&R in mid-January..........we can have a quiet day with the 5 of us.........good food........movies............You have to live for those moments....

Girls had fun for trick-or-treating, my brother-in-law took the girls out.........nice of him, they had a good time..........I missed Bill........but what is new....

Well just had to document the passing of the month..........more for myself than anyone else obviously.........I am kind of in a blogger black hole.................thats okay....................I still feel better documenting this time even if there is no one to share it with..................

Hanging-on until the next blogg.............

Well...............another day done....................trying to think about sleep and being more productive the rest of the week and weekend than I was today.............somedays it just doesn't get done.........................

I saw pictures of one of the soldiers on our team getting home for leave................all I kept thinking is that he has to go back.............how is his wife going to let him go back....................I have the fear to look forward to myself...............a big enough concern you almost question whether you want the leave or not...................aaaaaaaaaaaagh............you want to enjoy the blessing of time with your loved one................but sending them off hurts so much...........................just not wishing it on my worst enemy..................

Kids are so goofy............trying better to love them for who they are.................as individuals..................

Trying to deal with lack of communication..........completely controlled by husband..........due to the circumstances of the war.......................doing okay............very tired........................

continuing to hang on...................some times that is all I can do.................but trying to do more than that for the kids.....................

Found this blog site wives of faith.............................great site..........feeling good about having a site for christian wives to blog with.

School, for nursing, trying to get into Nurse Practitioner program is scrambling my brain. Focus and motivation is tough. Did manage to get first big paper done....................always hoping I am suppose to be doing this school thing..............................takes a great deal of energy and time away from the kids..............

My husband is back at the forward operating base that he is has the hardest time communicating from...........I think for many reasons................frustrating that this looks to be his most permanent location. I guess things happen for a reason.........I will just have to deal with it.......

Kids are looking forward to Halloween.........good to have something for them to look forward to................

Well laundry...........beds...........vacuuming..............school work....................taking kids to preschool.......all are calling...............need to get moving.........

Well another day down................The Major is flying all over Afghanistan so he is hard to stay in contact with.......one of the most frustrating things for me is the lack and inconsistancy of communication with my husband during this deployment..........I just miss being normal, I miss our life.........

The kids had a good day........we went shopping for Halloween costumes and out to Chinese with friends.......one of those good times when for a few moments I could focus on something else...........

I have been so exhausted and couldn't figure out why..........and then I came across a blog of a military mom and she stated........

"Its a constant 24 hour a day worry that wears on you, grates on you, weighs on you. It's physically and mentally exhausting. I don't always realize but sometimes I wonder why I'm tired some nights or why I can't sleep most nights.......It's the worry. The wear and tear of it. It's like the drone of a motor always on or the hum from fluorescent lights..always there...always present....even when you are doing other things or thinking other thoughts...it's THERE. The worry is always there. I know other moms and dads and wives and husbands and sisters and brothers will understand what I mean.".............

I know it sounds silly but I was so thankful for these words........because they mean I am not crazy.........and I am not alone........

Hug the ones you love..........tell them you love them often.............remember those who fight our freedom...................

Until they "ALL"come home..........

Okay......now that I got out the basics of my situation out there, here are some questions I would like to throughout to anyone out there.

How many of you have a 5 year old, 35 pound daughter, who has managed to hang on their door so much they have ripped it out of the hinges; not once........but twice.............

How many of you have had the insides of your door knob removed, like where the lock is, never to be found again, and NO one saw what happened to it...............

Who by chance has had your children feed the dog not one........but two bags of dog treats at once causing an emergency trip to the vet for pancreatitis..................I love kids...........

and lastly.........who has had your 13 year old daughter ask you......."Mom if dad doesn't come home......(From Afghanistan)........who will walk me down the isle when I get married"...........

15 month deployments that leave parents to parent alone........and leave children to live in fear for the parent at war; is like nothing you can explain, truly, and nothing you would wish on anyone else..................please pray for our troops............and pray for their kids...............

I am a 40 year old mom of three daughters. I am also a military wife of a reservist who has been gone from home due to training and deployment since January of 2008. I live in a suburb north of Minneapolis..........and due to the lack of military posts in the area my girls and I are very isolated from other Military personnel and their families. There are so many nights I just wish there were other moms dealing with what I am dealing with just to talk to...........If anyone has experience with the Military you know you are not suppose to be negative..........your always suppose to support your solider, but when there is virtually no support for us.......it is really difficult.

I am also a nurse in school going for my NP degree, very part-time because of my husbands career and my young kids....but this to adds to the stress...............don't want to sound whiney.......just wish had someone who knew what I was going through to bounce things off of.